As we pause for a moment to consider the fact that Donald Trump actually has a real life presidential nomination and we’re not just watching some ill-conceived reality TV program, ponder the following:
There is a dating website devoted to Trump supporters.
Yes. There is.
If you are single, looking for a new niche dating website, and prepared to be patient with a dating site with a population only slightly greater than a football team, there are some advantages. The key advantage is, that without significant investment in profile trawling and online chit-chat, you’ll be able to judge the population quite efficiently. How? By reference to the classic Trump quotes which will tell you everything you need to know about the chaps you might meet on the website.
‘All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.’
So you’d expect trumpsingles to be populated with guys that believe they are a walking breathing (despite that crazy orange halo of hair) chick magnet or someone who wants to be one.
“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending the best. They’re not sending you, they’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists… And some, I assume, are good people.”
For those of us whose recovery from our last breakup was sponsored by frequent administration of Mexico’s finest Tequila this would represent a betrayal.
Complete lack of irony
“One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. Good people don’t go into government.”
If you are not a fan of self-awareness, you’ll do just fine with trumpsingles
You are ready to be a possession
“I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.”
Letting go of the honesty comment for a second, Trump regards his trail of exes, progeny and current wife as ‘my women’. If you are totally prepared to be regarded as ‘my woman’ and roll with the caveman-esque connotations, knock yourself out.
There’s no sweating the small stuff – like the actual details
“I was down there, and I watched our police and our firemen, down on 7-Eleven, down at the World Trade Center, right after it came down”
The Trumpster is not talking about a riot-inducing shortage of Krispy Kremes at your fave convenience store that call for a convergence of your local emergency services, but a globally-impacting terrorist act.
If you are nodding ‘yeah, but OF COURSE we all get the difference, then log in now!
A focus on intelligence
"My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure; it's not your fault."
If you are willing to ignore the ability to distinguish the difference between 9-11 and 7-11, you are gold with this crew and should sign up immediately!